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At the end of 2025, I burned out hard. I took 10 days off before my body and mind forced me to take a rest (this latter is always the worse option). Honestly, I could use another couple of weeks of doing nothing. Not going to happen. However, I do feel a lot better, calmer, and more ready to face the work world again.
So, 2026. I don’t do resolutions. I haven’t for years. I usually don’t do yearly themes. I’ve never needed them. But, I think this year, I do. My theme for 2026 is “Be present for yourself.” I spent a lot of the last couple of years working for/looking out for other people. I’ve made attempts to keep myself in mind, but *I* was always the easiest ball to drop when things got hectic. My writing goals, my physical goals, my wants/wishes/needs.
I’ve got to figure out how to stop putting myself last. It’s getting me in trouble. My novel, Shadowrun: Imre Grey, isn’t done and it should be. I’m barely holding onto my diet goals, and my movement goals are down to squats and wall pushups in-between other things. Thus, I guess that means I need to actually, physically, schedule movement into my week.
The other thing I am going to do is plan in quarters this year. I’ve been doing this for a long time in my head, but not on paper. This time, in order to be more present in my own life, I need to stop looking so far ahead that I can’t see the deadlines in front of my face.
1st Quarter (Jan-Feb-Mar). In addition to keeping my CGL lines running, I have two main projects:
2nd Quarter (Apr-May-Jun). In addition to keeping my CGL lines running, I have a single project focus:
I will worry about the 3rd and 4th quarters when I get there. Especially since convention season really starts in June.
* * *
On the Homefront, I have three new specific desires this year: Daily Journal, Comfort Reading, and Tranquil Thursdays.
That’s the plan for 2026: Quarterly project goals and showing up for myself more. As always, I will keep track of my metrics. (If you would like a copy of my blank 2026 Freelancer Summary document, contact me. I will send it to you.)
The world is a scary place right now for a lot of people. Me included. I fear for friends, family, and other loved ones. Hell, I fear for myself, my gender, and the erosion of my rights, not to mention the loss of my bodily autonomy. Every single time I look up from my work—focused writing or editing—to look at social media or the news, I regret it.
So, I have a couple of words for you to noodle over. I collect new-to-me, interesting words. I’ve been saving these since the beginning of the year for the right time to trot them out. I think now is as good of a time as any.
The first is: Weltschmerz (translated as something like world-sadness). It is a German word that means the feeling of melancholy and pessimism that comes from being aware of the contrast between the way things are and the way you wish they were.
The second is: Sisu. It is a Finnish word that means a special strength and determination to continue on in moments of adversity; having grit, bravery, and resilience; refusing to give up.
These days, I live between these two words. The world feels like a trash fire right now—and my state is actually on fire, literally—and, sometimes, I wonder how we are going to survive as a people, much less a nation.
The only saving grace I have is the fact that every single generation believes they are in the end times, that men aren’t masculine enough, women aren’t feminine enough, and no one wants to work…along with a litany of other societal woes, as seen in letters to the editor, essays, journal entries, and the like for over 2500 years, and we’re still here.
We all feel weltschmerz at some point in our lives. Then, we feel sisu. And life goes on. We hope. I hope.
There. A couple of words for you to ponder in the coming days.
The 2025 Hugo Award voting closes in 36 days (July 23).
I debated on whether or not I would post this because of reasons (everything going on in the world and more), but as an editor/seminar instructor, I frequently instruct my students/authors not to self-reject. Their job is to do the thing. My job (and the job of all editors out there) is to see if the thing fits what they need. “Don’t do my job for me,” I say.
“Physician, heal thyself.” Or, in other words, “Editor, take your own counsel.” Thus, here I am.
What would a Hugo win mean to me and for my career?
Career: I have not (yet) won a Hugo award. I would really like to. For many reasons. But, I think, most of all, it would help my publishing career. Already the second nomination has allowed me to land a freelance job I wanted at a per hour rate my skills are worth. This is huge for me.
The Husband no longer works in tech. In fact, he’s just been accepted into UW’s graduate program for a Masters in Library and Information Sciences (MLIS). I am so proud of him. However, this means he has school for the next two years, and money will be tight. I need/want my publishing career to continue to level up.
Personal: As an editor, I have been nominated for the Bram Stoker, the British Fantasy, and multiple Hugo awards. While it is an honor (no, really, it really-really is), I would love to win one. Much like qualifying for HWA, IAMTW, and SFWA, it is one of those publishing career goals/milestones. For those in the know, it is an immediate reputation boost. Even outside the publishing industry, many people know what a Hugo is.
Emotional: In my blog post, The Second Nomination is the Best, I mentioned that I burst into tears when I read the email telling me that I was a finalist again. There was relief in knowing the first time wasn’t a mistake. It’s been a joy to hear from people that they were glad to see me on the ballot again.
I think winning a Hugo at a Seattle Worldcon would be the best. It would make me feel like “Hometown Girl Does Good.” There would be relief in finally winning one of the “big ones.” It wouldn’t matter if I was never nominated again. (Of course it would matter, but maybe not as much…)
Is a Hugo win a guarantee to a better publishing career? No. But it can’t hurt. (Unless someone stabs me with it—and what a way to go out!) Do I want to give an awards speech? Absolutely. Do I want to hold the Hugo trophy in my hot little hands and flush like I’ve been drinking all night? You betcha. Do I want to let Seanan put mantises on my head? I’m a little iffy on this one, but I did promise to let her do it if I won (a promise made before I was nominated, and I’m a woman who keeps her promises). Besides, Paul said he’d take pictures, and he takes a really good picture.
Back at the beginning of the year, I set three specific desires for 2025: Decluttering, less time online, and to finish reading a bunch of unfinished books. We’ve just completed the first quarter of the year, and it’s been interesting.
On the decluttering front, things are going well. Slow and steady. We aren’t getting to a project a week like I had hoped, but we are getting enough things decluttered that I’m not stressing about it. On the Year of Unfinished Books, again, slow and steady. Books read for work: 4. New books read: 3 (I’m not going to not read new books—I get arcs from some of my favorite authors). Unfinished books finished: 4. A pretty good chunk of reading, all things considered. I think this is because of my goal: less time online.
I also decided that I would not work on Sundays (caveat1*), if I could help it. More than that, I was not going to be online at all (caveat2*). As soon as I made that decision, I told the people that I worked with most that this new boundary was in place. If it wasn’t on literal fire, and if I wasn’t the only one who could put it out, I wasn’t available on Sundays. No one pushed back. As a long-time full-time freelancer, this was nice.
Caveat1: Two Sundays a month, I need to be on a recorded zoom call for Dear Penpal, Belgium 1980 to read letters to the audience and answer questions. That is about a 30 minute event. I do not do anything else computer-wise while it is happening. I close and lock my computer as soon as it is done.
Caveat2: I have Discord on my phone. If I am messaged directly, I look to see if it is something that needs immediate attention. If it does not, I dismiss the notification “unread” and continue on. I’ll get to it on Monday. My friends can still contact me as needed. Also, I have YouTube on my TV. I can watch videos if I want.
I think the most interesting thing about taking Sundays off-off (not just sorta-off) is that I can really feel my brain relax and my shoulders untense. I have no schedule or requirements. I read. I do puzzles. I play with kittens. I play PokemonGO. I sit and do nothing, staring out at the backyard. I need this rest. I am so busy these days, that the mental rest is vital to my wellbeing and to the quality of my work.
An offshoot to doing this is that I feel refreshed on Monday. Actually ready to work. Also, despite my daily workload being (currently) heavier than I’d like, I can look at it and think, One task at a time, Jenn. Pick the task. Work on it alone. The rest will follow. Do not worry about them right now.
Y’all have no idea just how freeing it is to be able to think that and mean it. I haven’t always said “multitasking is doing many things badly.” I say it now. Unequivocally. Over time, I have learned to trust myself when I schedule things. I have my systems in place if tasks need to be pushed.
I think about my mortality these days. Dad died at 73. Mom died just before her 75th birthday. I am 54. If statistics are right, I have about 20 decent years left. How do I want to spend that time? I still have stories to tell. I have a husband I adore above all. I value my time. More to the point, I respect my time. I want others to respect it, too. If they do not, well, I’ll keep that in mind for all future interactions.
These boundaries and respect started with me. It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn. I’m glad I’ve learned that I am worthy of that kind of love and respect from myself. It tells me I am still growing as a person. I think that’s all I can ask for right now.
I have finished the rough draft of the current novel-in-progress. It’s not done by any means, but now I have the whole of the story in my head and I can see so many places that need fixing. However, I haven’t started fixing the novel yet. I’m in that in-between phase that few authors ever speak of.
It’s the “Flailing About” Phase.
My experience is that I have just spent the last 4-6 weeks on “deadline mode.” This mode includes things like “no internet before word count” and “2000 words a day” and “hard core focus on the novel” and nothing else. Lots of creative people know what that’s like.
But, just like post-con blues are a thing, so is the post-novel flap. You’ve known what you were to do everyday for a month without exception. You’ve gotten into the groove. But now the groove is gone. It’s almost like discovering you have hands and discovering your pants have no pockets. What the heck to you do with your hands now?
If you are a regular writer, I recommend a quick once-over, adding all the things you know you need to add RIGHT NOW. Then putting the manuscript away for three months while you write something (anything) else. But, as I am a media tie-in writer, too, I don’t have time for that. I need to turn in the polished manuscript within 3 weeks. That’s my deadline.
But I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna work on the novel. I don’t wanna do the work I know I need to do. What do I want to do? I don’t know and I don’t wanna figure it out. See: flailing about.
Usually I have a bunch of interviews lined up to work on. Which I did this time, too. But they are done. And I polish-edited a short story and turned it in already. I have 3 more short stories to write but I’m not anywhere near doing them. I haven’t even outlined them on paper. Maybe I have in my head, but I don’t want to face the tyranny of the blank page. It is so much easier to fix what’s on the page than to create it wholesale.
Which leads me back to…start the next pass on the novel…and I don’t wanna.
Thus, I’m writing a blog post about the situation. I’m sure other authors have written about this phase of the novel writing process, but I figured it couldn’t hurt if other authors (and readers) understood a little more of what some authors (at least me) sometimes go through. The process of writing and editing novels is always changing, but I think the general phases of the process remain the same.
See? That’s about 500 words of verbal flailing and “productive procrastination” to help me avoid the edits I will begin next. Or tomorrow. It all depends on whether or not I figure out something else to do to avoid what I don’t want to do now.
But still, by tomorrow, I will roll up my sleeves and dive into fixing the novel because this is the “post” part of my mantra of “fix it in post.”
Have a cat picture. Here’s Mena in her tower.
Once upon a time, almost three years ago to the day, I got the urge to write a near future SF mystery story set in a subaquatic city involving robotic pets. I had been inspired by a mini-documentary about the AIBO robotic dogs in Japan. It only took me a couple of weeks to write the novella. I knew it was good, but it wasn’t great. I needed another set of eyes on it.
Then, the awesome Marie Bilodeau offered to edit it. She did so in short order and had some insightful things to say about it. While she did love it, there were some definite, specific issues—some of which she outlined in her email to me. The rest she left as comments in the manuscript. I knew she was right about it all, but by that time, the shine had worn off the project, it was just a personal story I had written with no market in mind, and I had other contracted novels to write.
Thus, it languished in my email for three years.
It’s no secret that I’ve been taking the first quarter of this year easy. I’ve pushed myself hard for the last five years (five novels and six novellas and everything else), thus when this year’s contracts got delayed, I decided to relax a little. Until I remembered I had several personal projects I wanted to work on. Which I did…sorta. None of them had due dates or markets in mind. Still, I wanted to work on them while I waited.
Thus, I did—on one of them: Dear Penpal. But mostly I tinkered at it. What should have taken merely a month to write is only 1/3 written in the last four months. As a full-time writer, this won’t do. If I don’t have contracts or deadlines, I still need to write. I have an agent and cats to feed.
Coming to this conclusion, two things in the universe conspired to help me. First, another publishing professional like me (author/editor/RPG writer/media tie-in writer) asked for an accountability buddy on a discord we’re both on. As someone who never wants to be the smartest person in the room, I knew her by her considerable reputation and jumped at the chance.
(As an aside, I’ve discovered the perfect accountability buddy for me is someone I know in a professional capacity, am friendly with on acquaintance terms, and respect, but not someone I hang out with on a regular basis. We chat during our meetings, but it is all work related chat. There’s something about wanting to impress this familiar stranger that really pushes my “get it done” button. But I digress…)
The other thing that happened is that Uncanny Magazine opened up for novellas from May 1-15. At the time I read that, I had about two-to-four weeks to whip my languishing novella into shape and submit it. Suddenly, I had a deadline. Not only that, I had a professional author I was now meeting with weekly to talk about what I did that previous week—did I meet my goals? Why or why not and what’s next?
Long story short—I revised, edited, and polished that SF novella in just under three weeks and submitted it to Uncanny Magazine. Whether or not they accept it (and I hope they do), I’m pleased to have finally finished it. It’s a wonderful story. Thanks to Marie’s astute observations from three years ago, I think the novella turned out pretty good.
Now, I have Dear Penpal to work on while I wait for the various (editing and writing) projects that are on my radar but haven’t landed yet. After all, I have an accountability buddy to answer to and time to do it. No excuses left.
I think 2023 is going to be a bit different for me work-wise. Right now, I have one small project under contract and that is it. As a freelance author and editor I should be terrified, but I’m not. Probably because I know there are a number of projects coming down the line, and even though you can’t trust a damn thing in the publishing industry until it is under contract (and even then it can be suspect), I’m confident at least one of these (rather large) projects is going to land.
The problem will come if more than one of them lands too close to another.
Fortunately, all of the projects in the air are awesome and I’m really looking forward to working on each of them. It’s part of my new professional strategy: Do not accept a contract that you are not in love with. If it doesn’t tick 90+% of the boxes, let it go and give someone else a chance to pick up the ball and run with it.
All this is to say that I won’t be listing out all my projects and their timelines because I can’t. This is rather like the year of the Iceberg Duck. Iceberg: because most of its bulk is unseen. Duck: because it seems smooth and graceful on the water as it sails by, but it is paddling like mad underneath.
What do I know? Not that much. Most of it speculative
At times like these, I turn to what I do know: I need to finish paying work first. I have two original projects that have been eating my brain for over a year. I also know my best bet is to work on the things I can control and the rest will sort itself out in its own time. Thus, I will begin by working on the bits of Shadowrun that I can and then I’ll dive into Dear Penpal—a fictional YA epistolatory project inspired by my time in Belgium living in a 300+ year old manor house in 1980. Those will keep me happily occupied for a few months. Then we will see what we see.
Per usual, I like to round up the year to see what I accomplished as an author, editor, and media tie-in writer. This year was a bit unusual. Year three of the pandemic and I knew I needed more rest than normal because of the general trauma of it all. Between that and anniversaries of my parents’ deaths and a whole host of other things, I structured the year a bit differently.
First, the cold hard numbers…
New words written thoughts: For the first time in a very long time, I wrote less than 100K new words in a year. When I first saw the numbers, I was startled and a little upset. Then I thought about the three month writing break I put in the middle of the year because I needed it. Then I looked at how much I had edited: 2 novellas, 1 novel, and 2 anthologies. That was where my time went and why my “new words” number seemed low to me.
Sometimes authors put too much emphasis on quantity over quality. It’s a bit like watching the scale and wondering why you’re not losing pounds while you are lifting weights and gaining muscle mass even as your waist line shrinks. I keep track of the numbers to tell myself about how I worked and what affected me where. Travel, grief, other work, teaching classes. All of it counts. This is why I keep track of everything I do in a day. I can always tell when I had to stop and spend an hour looking at a contract rather than writing. Or when the words wouldn’t come because I was grieving. My Freelancer Summary is invaluable to me. I’ve had enough people ask me about it that I’ve created a blank 2023 RTF document for people to download and use as they will. (Direct Download Link.)
This was an excellent year for submissions for me. I don’t think I’ve had such a high acceptance rate before and that makes me feel good. I like to get my short fiction out there. I like it more when it is accepted. I will never get over the rush I get at an acceptance.
New works published: I had a Shadowrun novel, Elfin Black, and a Shadowrun novella, Unrepairable, published along with a FiveFold Universe space opera novella, Truumeel’s Light, published. Then there were the two re-releases: Apocalypse Girl Dreaming and Last Days of Salton Academy. Also, I’m quite proud of the anthology, The Reinvented Heart, I co-edited with Cat Rambo. Yeah, 2022 was a good publication year.
I’ve forced myself to take an actual break for the last two weeks of 2022. It’s been good but weird. Part of me is desperate to rest. Part of me is desperate to get back to work. I think 2023 is going to be interesting in a good way and I’m looking forward to it. There’s a lot to think about and a lot to plan for. However, that is for 2023 Jennifer to deal with. 2022 Jennifer is in “potato” mode. In the meantime, I’ve got a fiendish puzzle from my sister to work on.
Thank you to every single one of you who reads me and enjoys my work.
I hope you have had a lovely holiday season and I wish you the brightest new year.
Here’s something I do as an author: I think. A lot. About pretty much everything in regards to writing any length of work. Admittedly, the shorter the work, the less I have to think about it unless it is something in a very, very specific format or is on something I am not super familiar with.
Right now, I’m thinking about my next YA Shadowrun novella, The Kilimanjaro Run. It is the fourth in the series (even though each novella is standalone, there is a throughput line). It’s taken me weeks to figure out what POV this novella should be written in. Partly because I’m not familiar with the physical location where the novella will be taking place. Partly because I couldn’t decide who would be the best point of view character. That difficulty has come down to not having the confidence/experience to write the story from the POV character I would like to write it from. Thus, after much internal debate (and my editor’s approval), I will write it from the POV character I am most comfortable with, and the one the readers would be most likely to forgive should I muck things up. I have already hired a sensitivity reader. Hopefully, that will help with the not-mucking-up part of things.
In the meantime, I’m thinking…about the story…about the characters…about specific scenes. Basically, thinking about everything I’m going to write. I haven’t written much yet. Art notes for the cover (talk about putting the cart before the horse). An nascent outline. Character names with 1-3 lines of background. Facts about hippopotamuses and Tanzania. The first paragraph in the story (which I’m sure I’m going to toss out and start over, but it’s easy to start with a brief edit than to stare at the tyranny of the blank page). Probably about 600 words in total.
What does thinking about writing look like? For me, it looks like playing PokemonGO, cleaning my house, folding laundry, or doing some other bit of busy work that keeps most of me occupied while my creative part churns. I’m making inspired butter out of creative cream (or is that creative butter out of inspired cream?). Today, thinking looks like updating every single one of my apple devices because I bought more music for the first time in forever. It also looks like processing author bios for my anthology 99 Fleeting Fantasies. And eating lunch. And staring off into space, occasionally having an argument with myself or with the characters in my head. Not to mention writing this blog post.
While it doesn’t look like much, it is hard work. It is mentally taxing. It can be physically tiring. But it’s not the “sexy” part of writing. It’s not really a thing you can show without being stereotypical—and what you “show” is what writer’s block looks like. It’s funny how a writer thinking looks like writer’s block to someone who doesn’t write. It shows the fundamental disconnect between the writer and the reader.
The best way I can describe an author thinking to a reader who is not a writer is an earworm. An earworm of the literary kind in the best, most distracting, way. You don’t know the complete tune, nor do you know all the words, but it is enticing. You know it. But you don’t really know it, yet. You will…but only after it is on the page and has been edited a half a dozen times. Then you will know what the song/story really was all along.
So, that’s what and how I’m doing. What about you?
Mena being adorable in the cat tower.
The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA) has partnered once again with Worldbuilders, an organization of geeks doing good that supports humanitarian efforts worldwide, to run their annual silent auction. This auction runs from May 9, 12noon, Pacific until May 16, 12noon, Pacific.
https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/auctionhome.action?vhost=wbi
Three items from me up for bid:
A 30-minute one-on-one virtual career session via Zoom with Jennifer Brozek, an award winning author, editor, and tie-in writer. Tell me where you want to go with your career and I’ll do my best to guide you.
https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/item.action?id=342557558
Four seats in a one-hour virtual author kaffeeklatsch via Zoom with Jennifer Brozek, an award winning author, editor, and tie-in writer. Come talk about anything gaming or publishing related. On request, I will go get all my cats to show you.
Seat 1: https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/item.action?id=342557553
Seat 2: https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/item.action?id=342557555
Seat 3: https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/item.action?id=342557556
Seat 4: https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/item.action?id=342557557
Jennifer Brozek will do a tuckerization for the winning bidder (or as a gift from the winning bidder to someone else). Tuckerization will be in a new Shadowrun YA novella and possibly used in a later Shadowrun novel.
https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/item.action?id=342557560
Please support this worthy cause.
Thank you,
Jenn
Jennifer Brozek is a multi-talented, award-winning author, editor, and media tie-in writer. She is the author of Never Let Me Sleep and The Last Days of Salton Academy, both of which were nominated for the Bram Stoker Award. Her YA tie-in novels, BattleTech: The Nellus Academy Incident and Shadowrun: Auditions, have both won Scribe Awards. Her editing work has earned her nominations for the British Fantasy Award, the Bram Stoker Award, and multiple Hugo Awards. She won the Australian Shadows Award for the Grants Pass anthology, co-edited with Amanda Pillar. Jennifer’s short form work has appeared in Apex Publications, Uncanny Magazine, Daily Science Fiction, and in anthologies set in the worlds of Valdemar, Shadowrun, V-Wars, Masters of Orion, Well World, and Predator.
Jennifer has been a full-time freelance author and editor for over seventeen years, and she has never been happier. She keeps a tight schedule on her writing and editing projects and somehow manages to find time to teach writing classes and volunteer for several professional writing organizations such as SFWA, HWA, and IAMTW. She shares her husband, Jeff, with several cats and often uses him as a sounding board for her story ideas. Visit Jennifer’s worlds at jenniferbrozek.com or her social media accounts on LinkTree.
