Back at the beginning of the year, I set three specific desires for 2025: Decluttering, less time online, and to finish reading a bunch of unfinished books. We’ve just completed the first quarter of the year, and it’s been interesting.
On the decluttering front, things are going well. Slow and steady. We aren’t getting to a project a week like I had hoped, but we are getting enough things decluttered that I’m not stressing about it. On the Year of Unfinished Books, again, slow and steady. Books read for work: 4. New books read: 3 (I’m not going to not read new books—I get arcs from some of my favorite authors). Unfinished books finished: 4. A pretty good chunk of reading, all things considered. I think this is because of my goal: less time online.
I also decided that I would not work on Sundays (caveat1*), if I could help it. More than that, I was not going to be online at all (caveat2*). As soon as I made that decision, I told the people that I worked with most that this new boundary was in place. If it wasn’t on literal fire, and if I wasn’t the only one who could put it out, I wasn’t available on Sundays. No one pushed back. As a long-time full-time freelancer, this was nice.
Caveat1: Two Sundays a month, I need to be on a recorded zoom call for Dear Penpal, Belgium 1980 to read letters to the audience and answer questions. That is about a 30 minute event. I do not do anything else computer-wise while it is happening. I close and lock my computer as soon as it is done.
Caveat2: I have Discord on my phone. If I am messaged directly, I look to see if it is something that needs immediate attention. If it does not, I dismiss the notification “unread” and continue on. I’ll get to it on Monday. My friends can still contact me as needed. Also, I have YouTube on my TV. I can watch videos if I want.
I think the most interesting thing about taking Sundays off-off (not just sorta-off) is that I can really feel my brain relax and my shoulders untense. I have no schedule or requirements. I read. I do puzzles. I play with kittens. I play PokemonGO. I sit and do nothing, staring out at the backyard. I need this rest. I am so busy these days, that the mental rest is vital to my wellbeing and to the quality of my work.
An offshoot to doing this is that I feel refreshed on Monday. Actually ready to work. Also, despite my daily workload being (currently) heavier than I’d like, I can look at it and think, One task at a time, Jenn. Pick the task. Work on it alone. The rest will follow. Do not worry about them right now.
Y’all have no idea just how freeing it is to be able to think that and mean it. I haven’t always said “multitasking is doing many things badly.” I say it now. Unequivocally. Over time, I have learned to trust myself when I schedule things. I have my systems in place if tasks need to be pushed.
I think about my mortality these days. Dad died at 73. Mom died just before her 75th birthday. I am 54. If statistics are right, I have about 20 decent years left. How do I want to spend that time? I still have stories to tell. I have a husband I adore above all. I value my time. More to the point, I respect my time. I want others to respect it, too. If they do not, well, I’ll keep that in mind for all future interactions.
These boundaries and respect started with me. It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn. I’m glad I’ve learned that I am worthy of that kind of love and respect from myself. It tells me I am still growing as a person. I think that’s all I can ask for right now.
