kitties

Running a kickstarter is not for the faint of heart, lemme tell you that. I am one giant Muppet flail right now. But “Dear Penpal, Belgium 1980” is 31% funded as of the uploading of this blog post. I am beyond thrilled that we’ve come so far. Of course, I’m nervous as hell that we won’t make it. I just gotta believe in this passion project of mine.

The Husband wrote his own blog post for our launch that I didn’t see until it went live. It made me feel a little sappy (Facebook link). I have the best husband ever!

Also, I have a post over on Cat Rambo’s blog, “On Eating Frog Legs and White Asparagus.” It’s all about me learning to be fearless when encountering foreign food while I lived in Belgium.

As I’ve said before, this project is near and dear to my heart. I’m excited to be able to send you my epistolary story and to bring joy to your mailboxes. Yes, actual snail mail that’s not spam, bills, or politics! Keep spreading the word. I know we can make it to $5,000 and I hope we get to unlock some fun stuff for everyone with our stretch goals.

“Dear Penpal, Belgium 1980” is a cozy, middle grade-appropriate, ghost story, loosely based on fictionalized me at ten years old while living in a 300-year-old manor house in Belgium. The story will be told through 24 physical letters (already written) over a one-year period. This is the kind of odd project I could never sell traditionally, so I’m rolling up my sleeves and doing it myself. Won’t you be my penpal?

Leeloo is waiting for you to support her servant so her servant can get back to servant duties…

The rough draft of the current novel in progress is done and now I’m in the process of fixing it. Have a Bubble & Squeek!

Interview: I was interviewed by Kevin of Productivity Alchemy on episode 337! I had such a blast with this one. We talked about all kinds of things.

Kickstarter BackerKit: I am launching a Kickstarter for in late March 2024 called “Dear Penpal, Belgium 1980.” It is a cozy, Middle Grade appropriate, ghost story, loosely based on fictionalized me at ten years old while living in a 300-year-old manor house in Belgium. Won’t you be my penpal?

Publication: Shadowrun: Auditions (The Mosaic Run Collection). My four YA Shadowrun novellas with a new through-put line and an extra short story–in ebook and print. Also linked on the HWA Seattle chapter page because it is cool.

Publication: 99 Fleeting Fantasies anthology in ebook and print. Flash fiction stories from all over the world! Featuring stories from Cat Rambo, Charles Stross, Crystal Frasier, Jody Lynn Nye, Jonathan Maberry, Premee Mohamed, Seanan McGuire, Wole Talabi, and many more!

Shoutout: Brandon O’Brien is having a poetry workshop on March 13! I’m most definitely going to to. You should too.

Support: As always… if you appreciate my work and would like to support me, I love coffee. I am made of caffeine. This is the quickest way to brighten my day.

Twitch/YT: Shadows of Nox YT channel now has all of The Broken Hearts Club Buffy RPG Live Play mini-arc. I play Bethany, a psychic who isn’t having a great time but does meet some very cool people.

Leeloo being cute!

I have finished the rough draft of the current novel-in-progress. It’s not done by any means, but now I have the whole of the story in my head and I can see so many places that need fixing. However, I haven’t started fixing the novel yet. I’m in that in-between phase that few authors ever speak of.

It’s the “Flailing About” Phase.

My experience is that I have just spent the last 4-6 weeks on “deadline mode.” This mode includes things like “no internet before word count” and “2000 words a day” and “hard core focus on the novel” and nothing else. Lots of creative people know what that’s like.

But, just like post-con blues are a thing, so is the post-novel flap. You’ve known what you were to do everyday for a month without exception. You’ve gotten into the groove. But now the groove is gone. It’s almost like discovering you have hands and discovering your pants have no pockets. What the heck to you do with your hands now?

If you are a regular writer, I recommend a quick once-over, adding all the things you know you need to add RIGHT NOW. Then putting the manuscript away for three months while you write something (anything) else. But, as I am a media tie-in writer, too, I don’t have time for that. I need to turn in the polished manuscript within 3 weeks. That’s my deadline.

But I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna work on the novel. I don’t wanna do the work I know I need to do. What do I want to do? I don’t know and I don’t wanna figure it out. See: flailing about.

Usually I have a bunch of interviews lined up to work on. Which I did this time, too. But they are done. And I polish-edited a short story and turned it in already. I have 3 more short stories to write but I’m not anywhere near doing them. I haven’t even outlined them on paper. Maybe I have in my head, but I don’t want to face the tyranny of the blank page. It is so much easier to fix what’s on the page than to create it wholesale.

Which leads me back to…start the next pass on the novel…and I don’t wanna.

Thus, I’m writing a blog post about the situation. I’m sure other authors have written about this phase of the novel writing process, but I figured it couldn’t hurt if other authors (and readers) understood a little more of what some authors (at least me) sometimes go through. The process of writing and editing novels is always changing, but I think the general phases of the process remain the same.

See? That’s about 500 words of verbal flailing and “productive procrastination” to help me avoid the edits I will begin next. Or tomorrow. It all depends on whether or not I figure out something else to do to avoid what I don’t want to do now.

But still, by tomorrow, I will roll up my sleeves and dive into fixing the novel because this is the “post” part of my mantra of “fix it in post.”

Have a cat picture. Here’s Mena in her tower.

Still deep in the weeds of my novel in progress, but I can see the end of it! In the meantime, here is a Bubble & Squeek. This one has a couple of hats-in-hands with requests for money. I know these people personally, have worked with them, and they need the help if you can afford it. Otherwise, please share the message.

Shoutout: Artist Jeff Sturgeon is in a bad way and could use a little help. His family set up a GoFundMe. You have seen his art of the last 30 years.

Shoutout: Writer and editor Lezli Robyn is very sick and could use some help. Help her get better. She works so hard and this is tough for her.

Blog: Being in my fifties now, I thought it would be a good thing to think about some thoughts I’ve learned that I’ve incorporated into my life—or try to. I’m not perfect. I’ve broken these 50 things in to five groups: Emotions, Habits, Love, Career, and Perspective. I posted one section a week for five weeks.

Pre-Order: My novel, Shadowrun: Auditions (The Mosaic Run Collection) is up for pre-order (ebook) and will be released on February 15 in ebook and paperback.

Kickstarter BackerKit: I am launching a Kickstarter for in late March 2024 called “Dear Penpal, Belgium 1980.” It is a cozy, Middle Grade appropriate, ghost story, loosely based on fictionalized me at ten years old while living in a 300-year-old manor house in Belgium. Won’t you be my penpal?

Kickstarter ZNB Presents Tuckerization: Would you like to be immortalized in a story that will be published in ZNB Presents: Year 3? I am one of the anchor authors this year and there are multiple tuckerizations available!

Kickstarter: Shifting, Swirling, HERitage. An anthology about “what if” situations about famous women in history. This one looks interesting.

Support: As always… if you appreciate my work and would like to support me, I love coffee. I am made of caffeine. This is the quickest way to brighten my day.

Esme. My favorite picture of her.

Again, with a broken heart, I must tell you that Pharaoh, our beloved Egyptian Mau, has gone to the clearing at the end of the path. He has joined his sister, Isis, three months after she passed. As before, the Husband and I are in shatters. It is an intense type of emotional pain. We are as affected by the death of Pharaoh as we were by the death of Isis.

Pharaoh was my kitty. I was his human. He brooked no argument on this fact. I was the one he wanted to see. It was my lap he wanted to sleep in. He loved the Husband. Yes, of course he did. But he knew that the Husband belonged to Isis, and she was the one who ruled the roost no matter what any of the other cats thought about it. Period. End of story. That was okay because he wanted me and had me as his. I accepted my duty with my whole heart.

Pharaoh lived for just over sixteen years. We got the twins even before we were married. I think, officially, our Maus were the first things we chose and bought together. Though, it was very clear from the outset who chose who. Pharaoh was so loving and lovable. He grew to an average of eighteen pounds (nineteen at his heaviest) and knew how to use that bulk to bring down prey (toys). More than once he stole a toy from me accidentally because he put his whole body into the attack.

We knew that Pharaoh didn’t have long to live after Isis left us. But much of the past three months made us think that he was going to become a little lich kitty, living forever. He rallied…until he didn’t. Walking hasn’t been easy for him in his last months and while the meds would work for a little bit, they didn’t work for long. It got to the point that walking was painful, and he couldn’t use the litter box unless we were there to help. He couldn’t really walk the stairs. In our last weeks together, I carried him to his meals, the litter box, his heated blanket. He stopped playing for the most part—and when he did play, he would have an asthma attack. He was so tired and uncomfortable in his skin.

My darling boy was allergic to many things (beef and pork included). It meant he needed to spend years on so many different medicines that we created morning and night routines around which medicines we had to give him and when to keep him happy, comfortable, and thriving. I think our mornings and evenings will feel empty, incomplete, for a long time to come. There is so much less to do. Right now, my life feels so much less.

His last day was beautiful. We fed him all his favorite treats. We held him and soothed him when he had one of his confused episodes. When he fell asleep in my arms, he finally relaxed enough to snore like he hadn’t done in many, many weeks. At least a month. It was so sweet and tender—his relief, his final relaxation. I stayed with him until the end as I promised him I would. It is the hardest, kindest thing a responsible pet owner can do. I still miss Isis. I already miss him so much, and my heart feels like it’s never going to stop breaking.

We want our kitties back.

(We used Compassion 4 Paws. Dr. Nicole was understanding, patient, and respectful. It helped with this hard, necessary procedure.)

It is with a broken heart that I need to say that Isis, our beloved Egyptian Mau, has gone to the clearing at the end of the path. She is survived by her twin brother, Pharaoh, and her sisters Leeloo and Mena. The Husband and I are in shatters. I am not kidding. It will be a long time before we are okay again.

I know you are not supposed to have favorite kitties, but Isis was exceptional. I chose her from the litter. She chose the Husband to be her human. She loved me, but he was her favorite. That much was clear. Just like the Husband chose Pharaoh from the litter and he chose me to be his human.

Isis lived for almost sixteen years and she brightened our lives every single day. She was our siren—enticing, flirty, and sweet to draw you in. She was our siren—as loud as any alarm and twice as persistent in getting what she wanted. She will always be our lovely little girl.

She had been sick for a while and by the time she dropped below six pounds, moving in and out of lucidity, unable to move well or eat much, we knew it was time.

Her last day was a good day. Mostly lucid, spoiled with churu whenever it looked like she wanted it, Isis left this world to pass into the next in the lap of her beloved chosen human in a beam of sunlight. It was a gentle passing full of love and warmth. It was the kindest thing we could do for her after all she had done for us. Afterwards, we let her siblings smell her body and sense her passing.

We will miss Isis so much. So very much. It was one of the hardest, most responsible things we could do as pet owners. One of the kindest, too.

(We used Compassion 4 Paws. Dr. Julia was understanding, patient, and respectful. It helped with this hard, necessary procedure.)

It’s after Gen Con and projects are picking up speed as predicted. Have some Bubble and Squeek.

Blurb: I got the most fantastic blurb from Wole Talabi (author of Shigidi And The Brass Head Of Obalufon) on my forthcoming Shadowrun YA novella The Kilimanjaro Run (release date Aug 22). Cover reveal soon! “The Kilimanjaro Run is a wildly entertaining story that takes us on a supernatural road trip from the urban sprawl of Dar es Salaam to the rocky slopes of Africa’s tallest mountain with a motley and lovable group of characters. It’s thoughtful, it’s fun, it’s The Transporter meets E.T. set in the fascinating world of Shadowrun served with a healthy portion of its own special sauce. Readers are in for a good time.”

Comic: Comic 233 by Akimbo Comics – The perfect illustration of why I write dark fiction. I’ve been thinking about this comic for the last couple of days. I wish I could have it on a poster. I keep losing it. So I’m posting it here.

Instagram: Leeloo and Miss Lemon… Sometimes she decides she’s going to be in my lap and that’s it. Singapura kitties are stubborn as hell.

Interview: I was interviewed for Writer Wednesday over at Gareth L. Powell’s blog on substack…

Review: Haunted MTL reviewed A Secret Guide to Fighting Elder Gods. They liked it with some caveats.

Twitter: Illustrator Jon Kubina drew me and my fellow panelists from the panel I moderated at Gen Con. How fun!

Support: As always… if you appreciate my work and would like to support me, I love coffee. I am made of caffeine. This is the quickest way to brighten my day.

In early 2003, I lived in the SF Bay Area and worked for a little company called Placeware. In February, we discovered that Microsoft was going to buy our company for its intellectual property (which eventually became Office Live Meeting). By May, I had found out that I was one of the one hundred Placeware employees being hired by Microsoft as subject matter experts. I was a senior QA engineer. I was thrilled to be hired (at a better wage) to move up to the Pacific Northwest (like I had wanted to do since college) with the ability to buy a house… instead of being fired during the Silicon Valley Dot Bomb era.

On July 20, 2003, I officially moved to the Seattle area. I had visited once before during the “Shock and Awe” week-long orientation trip where those of us who wanted to buy a house got shepherded around Redmond to look at houses. We were known as “the hundred” in the real estate market according to my agent. I didn’t move into my condo for a couple of months because it was still being painted and such and my household goods had not yet been delivered. Fun fact: of the 50 boxes that were shipped, 35 of them contained books.

Old house, new color.

Twenty years in one place still seems surreal to this former military brat. Fifteen years living in the same house? Almost unfathomable. Before this, the longest I lived in one place was five years. I still have to fight “itchy feet” and the urge to move. I fight it with deep rounds of decluttering. It’s been a few years. Another one is on its way. I’ve gone back and forth on the want to move and why, but the pandemic gave me a new appreciation for this house and my neighborhood. I think I’m finally actually ready to settle down here for real.

This house, this place, is the home I was proposed to in, have written 90% of all my novels in, have edited 100% of my anthologies in, and has been my touchstone for all the conventions I have attended and travel I have done. During that time we have remodeled our bathrooms, upgraded our kitchen countertops, replaced our driveway and walkway, remodeled our garage, added paver stones in the backyard, cut down a number of looming trees, replaced our fireplace, and mended the found dry rot. We have also replaced the roof once and painted the house twice (from beige to grey to navy blue). Decorated the front and backyards and added gargoyles on the roof. I think it is safe to say we have put our stamp on our home and marked it well.

Twenty years in one place. Maybe I’m not yet a native Seattleite and never will be, but I think I can state with great pleasure: I am home.

Asimov and Leeloo watching from their respective perches.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks. I’ve hosted the fabulous Marie Bilodeau and I’ve attended Norwescon as both a vendor and as a panelist. It was good time made all the better by Marie’s effervescent presence. Now my brain is mush. Have some bubble & squeek as I put it back together.

Audiobook: The Reinvented Heart anthology audiobook is about to be released! The pre-order link is live. You are going to love this.

Consideration: Hugo award nominations are happening. They close on April 30th. I would be pleased if you would consider me and Cat Rambo for short form editor. “Jennifer Brozek and Cat Rambo, The Reinvented Heart anthology, Publisher: CAEZIK SF & Fantasy, http://arcmanorbooks.com/caeziksf”

Opportunity: HOLOSTREETS. This one is for all of you who have ever asked me how you could write for Shadowrun. This is one way. It’s not canon, but it might suit your desires. ALSO, keep an eye out here. There might be more Shadowrun writing opportunities in the near future.

Release: The omnibus of NEVER LET ME, my acclaimed Melissa Allen trilogy has been re-released by Speaking Volumes. In Print, and for the first time, in ebook omnibus form. Cover art by the fab Peter Tikos.

Review: Horror Addicts reviewed Tales of Nightmares anthology. They liked it! Several stories got a shout out including my story “Twenty Questions.”

Support: As always… if you appreciate my work and would like to support me, I love coffee. I am made of caffeine. This is the quickest way to brighten my day.

For your amusement: a certain Pharaoh would like to speak to the manager because I was gone.

Recently, I’ve been watching Quincy’s Tavern on Instagram. I find his bartender shorts amusing, soothing, and appropriately geeky. However, I did come across one of them that made me think. It’s called Blanket or Sword? It is a quicker, more fun way of asking: do you want comfort or a solution?

This is something I’ve come to lean on a lot recently. The world is tough right now. Friends are ill or their personhood is under attack. There is a lot to be sad or worried or angry about. The trick is not to get caught up in a doom spiral—either as the person speaking or the person listening.

When someone complains about (or explains) a problem, you have choices on how to respond. As I think most of us have realized that we aren’t telepathic, text is an imperfect medium, and sometimes you don’t actually know what the speaker is asking for, it is better to be direct and ask. Sometimes the person is venting and needs a listener. Sometimes the person is aggressively asking for help while venting. Sometimes…and this is the tricky point…the person is complaining just to hear themselves talk, and they have an answer on why every single suggestion you make just won’t work.

It is this third person who saps the life and empathy out of every sympathetic / well-meaning person. There is such a thing as empathy fatigue. It’s a sad place to be in. It’s the kind of place that allows you to listen to a loved one’s tale of woe and not respond or to respond badly. (Which, in my case, comes with a side helping of guilt later when I think about the interaction.)

I really think that more people need to be willing and able to ask “Blanket or the Sword?” or “Are you venting or asking for help?” I also think we, who need the blanket or the sword, must strive to be aware of our need at the time because there is nothing more frustrating than someone who either won’t listen or will turn away every single suggestion with an “it will never work” attitude.

We all need a little help sometimes. Leeloo once trapped herself in my suitcase.