kitties

The world is a scary place right now for a lot of people. Me included. I fear for friends, family, and other loved ones. Hell, I fear for myself, my gender, and the erosion of my rights, not to mention the loss of my bodily autonomy. Every single time I look up from my work—focused writing or editing—to look at social media or the news, I regret it.

So, I have a couple of words for you to noodle over. I collect new-to-me, interesting words. I’ve been saving these since the beginning of the year for the right time to trot them out. I think now is as good of a time as any.

The first is: Weltschmerz (translated as something like world-sadness). It is a German word that means the feeling of melancholy and pessimism that comes from being aware of the contrast between the way things are and the way you wish they were.

The second is: Sisu. It is a Finnish word that means a special strength and determination to continue on in moments of adversity; having grit, bravery, and resilience; refusing to give up.

These days, I live between these two words. The world feels like a trash fire right now—and my state is actually on fire, literally—and, sometimes, I wonder how we are going to survive as a people, much less a nation.

The only saving grace I have is the fact that every single generation believes they are in the end times, that men aren’t masculine enough, women aren’t feminine enough, and no one wants to work…along with a litany of other societal woes, as seen in letters to the editor, essays, journal entries, and the like for over 2500 years, and we’re still here.

We all feel weltschmerz at some point in our lives. Then, we feel sisu. And life goes on. We hope. I hope.

There. A couple of words for you to ponder in the coming days.

Here’s the numbers. We all love numbers so much.

• Books published: 2, Shadowrun: Auditions and Shadowrun: The Mosaic Run
• Anthologies published: 3, 99 Fleeting Fantasies, Shadowrun: Magic, Machines, and Mayhem (co-edited with John Helfers), and Shadowrun: Through the Decades (co-edited with John Helfers)
• Short stories published: 4, “Eye of the Beholder” (co-written with Raven Oak), “Hella AFK”, “A Tale for Munchausen’s Merriment”, and “Dueling Minstrels” (co-written with Marie Bilodeau)

• New words written: 105,830
• Words edited: 441,00+

• Awards nominated for: 2 (both Scribe awards)
• Awards won: 1 (Won the Scribe award for Shadowrun: Auditions)

• Stories submitted: 12
• Stories sold: 6 (50%)
• Stories rejected: 4 (33%)
• Stories outstanding: 2 (17%)

Thoughts about the numbers:

• I’m pleased with the number of things that were published. It’s nice to have new novels and stories out in the wild.
• You’ll note that I did a LOT more editing this year. Gotta pay the bills. The Husband has retired from tech.
• The Scribe award nominations and win were very nice. I appreciate being acknowledged by my peers.
• As for the stories submitted and sold/rejected…I really am on target with that one. My acceptance rate hovers around 50%. This year I made my 100+ short story sale. That was cool.

I don’t really have a lot to say about the metrics for this year. I’m fine with them. They’re respectable for a full time publishing professional. With the Shadowrun magazine coming out next year and being an editor-at-large for CGL, my editing numbers will not be going down. That does cut into the writing schedule. But I’ve got my plans for next year—which I will talk about in the next blog. In the meantime, enjoy some pictures of my cats.

I hope you have had a very good holiday season!

(CW: Kitten injured but OK.)

Life is better with kittens. It is also more complicated and, occasionally, terrifying. Freya had an accident this morning. It’s the kind of thing no one could expect. That 2.5 lb kitten tried to climb an 8 lb slab of wood to get to me, cooking. Somehow, what she did caused the whole thing to topple over backwards as she clung onto the top of it. (I KNOW… it was leaned up against the cabinet. How the f* did she overcome the lean?)

Honestly, it is easier to share what I wrote to a discord group than to re-explain it:

[10:29 AM]

Freya just pulled an 8 lb slab of wood on top of her, I watched it happen. I couldn’t stop it. She fell over backwards holding onto it so she hit her back on the floor compounded by the wood on top of her. She got her tail stuck under it because she got herself on top of the wood.

[10:30 AM]

I freed her. She limped and yowled and when I picked her up, she yowled more. I put her down and she moved away then laid down with her hips out. I told [the Husband] he needed to get her to the emergency vet RIGHT NOW. [The Emergency Vet] is open. He left. I cleaned up. Freya is x-ray right now

[10:31 AM]

Both me and [the Husband] feel terrible because neither of us thought a kitten could move that slab of wood (it’s a stove topper/cutting board.)

[10:32 AM]

IF we are lucky, she’s bruised and scared. If not, something is broken.

For ten minutes, I did the only thing I could do…continued to work on my freelance editing. Then I got word.

[10:42 AM]

[The Husband]: “She has a minor pelvic fracture, probably no method of treatment except cage rest for 4 weeks. Coming home with pain meds as well.”

[10:42 AM]

cage rest for a kitten

[10:43 AM]

[The Husband]: “A surgeon specialist will look at xrays early next week to see if anything else to do.”

Once the Husband got home, he told me that it seemed that Freya has fractured both sides of her pelvis. But, they weren’t completely sure. The specialist would look at the x-rays (which I now have in my email) and everything had already been sent to our normal vet.  Until told differently…4 weeks of cage rest for Freya. (In three weeks she gets spayed…maybe.)

In the meantime, my friends rallied. Roz had kitty jails for just this kind of thing and offered to bring them over. She picked up Seanan along the way who brought a peacock feather to use to distract Mimir while the chaos of kitten jails were set up. It was so appreciated. It was a thing we didn’t have to figure out while our brains were running in twenty different directions.

After everyone left, Mimir immediately defeated the soft sided kitten jails and collapsed the one that Freya was in on her. Mimir does not take kindly to being separated from his sister. The problem is, he is bigger than she is and wants to wrestle. So, Freya is now in the One for Pets kitten jail (Portable 2-in-1 Double Pet Kennel/Shelter) and a second one has been ordered.

Apparently, minor pelvic fractures are the most common injury in a kitten. They jump from too high, fall off furniture, topple things on themselves. She is young and healthy and should be fine. Me, on the other hand, I’m a mess. So’s the Husband.

One good(?) thing to come out of this: Mimir has to play by himself. It’s getting Leeloo’s attention. She’s starting to play with him. She almost let him cuddle with her once, then rebuffed him. A second time, he went to cuddle on my chair while Leeloo was under a blanket. She almost let it happen until his kitten nature pulled the blanket from her head…and then Leeloo had quite the hissy fit. She didn’t hurt him but she did swat at him enough times (he’s a champ at “hunker and freeze”) when he wouldn’t move that I quietly said, “Leeloo.” She stopped, huffed at me 2-3 times then flounced off. It’s a start?

Tuesday, Dec 3rd, was the equivalent of emotionally speedrunning my life. I do not approve nor do I recommend. It was one of those days that even my editor would look at and say, “Isn’t that a bit much? Maybe spread those events out over the novel instead of a day.”

Bad: Mena stopped eating and drinking on Monday. She was still hiding on Tuesday morning. The Husband and I had already decided she needed to go to the vet. Mena loves her treats.

Good: My cat lover advent calendar and the Husband got me froofy coffee. (Little things count.)

Good: Our 2x a month housekeeper arrived!

Bad: Our housekeeper noticed our refrigerator suddenly wasn’t working. Through investigation, 8 outlets in the kitchen and family room weren’t working. This is something that happened years ago. Got fixed. Broke again.

Good: Plugged the refrigerator into a different plug and it worked. No spoiled food.

Bad: Had to find an electrician.

Good: Not only found an electrician, they were able to come out on the same day, AND were able to fix the issue.

Bad: That was $$$ money we didn’t expect to spend (but that’s what emergency funds are for).

Good: Started a new D&D game at the house. Session 0. Figuring everything out.

Bad: Vet called. Mena has feline pancreatitis. No cure, some mitigation. Caught it early. Mena was kept overnight for more observation. We will see what we need to do when we pick her up today. (Good things: It had nothing to do with the anxiety drugs Mena got put on because of the kittens nor was it due to the arrival of the kittens. This would’ve happened no matter what.)

Good: I sold a little short story I love to a new pro-paying market. This is a short story that has been rejected 20+ times. I’m so glad it found a home.

Other things happened that weren’t big enough to make the list. Also, several of my friends are going through rough times. I know I’m not the only one having a hell of a week (and it’s only Wednesday). Sometimes life is like that. I just wish it wouldn’t involve my cats. Mena is only 12. She’s sweet and silly and doesn’t deserve the pain she’s in now.

My life is all kittens and work right now. Freya and Mimir arrived on the 8th of November, one day after we got home from our Canadian trip that was such a blast! The twins (siblings technically) were less than 2.4 lbs each. They are so small and so cute!

The girl is Freya and the boy is Mimir. We wanted siblings because we knew they would be good for each other. Especially while we integrated them into our household with two senior cats. (More on them shortly.)

Fierce Freya is fearless and, frequently, brainless. She has no survival instinct. She will base jump from any height, chase a hissing Mena, and generally not be aware that anything could be harmful. Especially giant lumbering people who want to step where she wants to run under.

Mighty Mimir switches between Meek and Mighty. He is always hesitant of new things and people at first. Then he becomes as fearless and brainless as Freya. He usually is the first to escape the quarantine zone. Most of the time, he listens when another cat hisses.

As for the senior cats, Leeloo is interested in the kittens. She will go sniff them then back off when she realizes they are not her Maus. (She still misses Isis and Pharaoh.) She hisses at them when they get up in her grill, and that is usually enough for both kittens to back off. If not, she’s bapped Freya and both kittens submitted.

Mena, on the other hand, lives in the House of Hisses and Growls. She wants nothing to do with the little interlopers who have stolen her place as the baby of the family. She frequently hisses at the barrier or the door to the kitten room so hard that she gives herself a coughing fit. Feliway doesn’t seem to be helping. I may have to get some kitty Prozac for her. She seems to be afraid of the kittens. Especially Freya, who doesn’t seem to understand what hissing means.

Still, I have hope and patience for the clowder to integrate. It will take time and understanding. Maybe drugs. Right now, the kittens are too small to have the run of the house, and they haven’t finished having their vaccines. This week they get access to my bathroom, the kitten room, and my office. Maybe next week, the whole top floor of the house so that the senior kitties can get some peace and quiet downstairs.

But, as of right now, my entire world is finishing up the first issue of Augment magazine, and dealing with kittens who have no survival instinct.

I’m now home from an 8-day trip to Ottawa, Canada as one of the Editor Guests of Honor at Can-Con and to spend time visiting Marie and her partner and their clowder. This was my first trip to Ottawa. I hope it will not be my last. I had such a good time. I will miss them and Canada, but I am happy to be home. (Because: Kittens!)

As has become tradition after a convention, I tell you 10 things that may or may not have happened. 8 are true. 2 are lies.

1. I may or may not have done shots with Arley Sorg at Can-Con.
2. I may or may not have revealed some personal secrets to people new to me.
3. I may or may not have discussed being in a feud with Sarah Gailey. What’s the feud about? We don’t know—yet.
4. I may or may not have convinced the Husband to do something extremely silly.
5. I may or may not have taken my GoH costume judging duty quite seriously and argued my case with fellow judge Arley Sorg.
6. I may or may not have absconded with Greg Wilson (and others) for a private conversation to plan shenanigans for Worldcon Seattle 2025.
7. I may or may not have received an insightful tarot reading from a stranger.
8. I may or may not have helped Ed Greenwood and Marie Bilodeau learn a new game called Gudnak for reasons.
9. I may or may not have accidentally gone into a secret sex shop in a mall that looked like a toy store—blades, bongs, and butt plugs, oh my! (Marie takes me to the best places!)
10. I may or may not have visited an underground bunker and discovered that US history from the outside looking in is…telling.

Did I mention kittens?

Some gentle, general reminders about me.

If you’re here, on my website, and not signed up for my MailerLite newsletter, please sign up for it. It averages once-a-month because my PA (the GlitterMinion) makes me do it. You get to hear about what I’m doing, where I will be, and what open calls I have. Plus you get free fiction. Who doesn’t love a bit of free fiction? (Also, if you are on my Googlegroup newsletter, that group will be deleted 1 Feb 2025.)

If you would like to send me an email, I have a contact form for that. If you would like to send me something in the post, I have a P.O. Box for that. Email is checked more regularly than the P.O. Box. Please don’t send time sensitive stuff in the post without giving me an email ping.

For social media, I am most active on BlueSky and Facebook. I do have an Instagram account and it mostly has stuff about cats and books. Occasionally, there may be other stuff, too.

I am a full-time working author and editor. This means: I am very busy—I never have less than three projects going at any one time. That I appreciate it when you buy my books, review my books (even something as simple as “I really liked this book!” helps), and/or support me on ko-fi. That said, I am always happy to answer questions or lend a helping hand—if time, funds, and schedule permits.

I adore my cats beyond all reason. They rule the roost. I love the Husband even more than writing and I’m so grateful he supports me. He rules my heart. I appreciate my house, my books, my stuff, and my home office that much more since the pandemic started. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I will always try to keep things on the lighter side of life.

I am a Democrat who believes Love is Love. I am a gamer who is happy you are my neighbor no matter where you are from. I am a woman who believes trans rights are human rights, trans women are women, trans men are men, and all women should have the right to choose what happens with their body. I’m a former latchkey, semi-feral Gen X, 50+ year old woman with occasionally colored hair not normally found in nature. Sometimes I am fed up. Sometimes I am tired. Sometimes I’m trouble. Just so you know what you’re in for.

Gen Con is always an exciting time. This year was no exception. Between the panels, workshops, and business meetings, there is no way I could summarize everything that happened. However, my “To Follow-up On” list is about a mile long. So many good memories. Among them may be the following…

1. Declined an offer from Marie Bilodeau to steal a chair for me.
2. Had a lovely 10 second interaction with the DnD Shorts guy in the Dispel Dice mosh pit of a line.
3. Discovered that Phil Lee IS the power behind the throne of Cat Labs.
4. Already have business meetings scheduled for Gen Con 2025.
5. Plotted shenanigans for WorldCon 2025 in Seattle.
6. Signed an editor-publisher anthology contract for something new and exciting.
7. Caused one of my planes home to need to be rebooted to fix something (darn QA effect aura).
8. Announced an open call to a new magazine I am editing.
9. Made Mike Stackpole blush and shocked Brandon O’Brien.
10. Upheld the pact and bought dice.

The kitties took last night to be mad and today they are loving, needy, and shedding all over me. There is nothing like travel to make you appreciate what you have at home.

My next convention is Can-Con where I will be an Editor Guest of Honor. This will be my first time in Ottawa, Canada.

Awards: This year, I have two Scribe Award nominations. The first is for short story: Valdemar – “Needs Must When Evil Bides.” The second is for Shadowrun: Auditions, the first novel in The Mosaic Run duology. I am particularly chuffed about the short story nom. It’s been a donkey’s age since that’s happened. Also, it’s always a thrill to be mentioned in Locus magazine.

GoFundMe: One Booth to Record Them All. Pretty Please. Tren is on tap to record the Shadowrun: Elfin Black audiobook. Help him get to it faster! (Also, help his sleep schedule and his health and to future proof his career.)

MailerLite: I have a new newsletter group that I will be transitioning to over the next few months. You can check it out directly from my new website (look at the top of this page). Get a free story when you sign up!

Publication: Raven Oak and I have a co-written story in the Gen Con anthology, Interdimensions. It is called “Eye of the Beholder.” I really like this story. It’s crime story with a hint of magical realism.

Publication: My fourth Shadowrun novel, Shadowrun: The Mosaic Run, has been released! While it is the sequel to Shadowrun: Auditions, it can be read as a standalone novel.

Support: As always… if you appreciate my work and would like to support me, I love coffee. I am made of caffeine. This is the quickest way to brighten my day.

I am a duck right now. Smooth and serene on the top and paddling like mad underneath. It’s been a busy six weeks since I blogged—for good reason. It’s that whole you only see 10% of the iceberg thing.

First, there was Origins Game Fair. It was a good convention where I was a dealer and a panelist. Plus, I had many meetings where new projects were planned out. It’s one of my favorite things to do—meeting up with my editors and authors face-to-face. Unfortunately, long work conventions are exhausting. Also, we came home with an unwanted guest: Covid.

Despite masking and air purifiers and hand washing/sanitizers, I caught Covid. I’m not sure exactly where or when, but by Sunday evening of the convention, I felt like hell—which means I had to have been contagious for 1-3 days. Be it an errant button press or a handshake and then forgetting to sanitize, or being coughed on (there were a LOT of coughing people at Origins), after four years of diligence, my number was up.

I got Paxlovid on Tuesday after the convention, and we were hoping that it had passed the Husband by, but no such luck. By Thursday the 27th, he was sick. He got his Paxlovid on the same day. We had diametrically opposed reactions to Covid. I felt better as of the 2nd day of the meds and started testing negative as soon as the five days of Paxlovid was done. The Husband on the other hand, tested positive for Covid for almost two full weeks after he finished the meds and even had a rebound where he started feeling better, but then got much worse.

“A simple cold” my ass. We spent three full weeks living on separate levels of the house, running the air purifiers, and masking. It was like living with a roommate you barely tolerate. It sucked. Seriously. The Husband’s asthma is still acting up. Needless to say, we will be masked for Gen Con.

While we were suffering from Covid, life continued on. We’d contracted with Catio Spaces for a custom catio as our 16th wedding anniversary to us and our kitties. It’s lovely. Big enough for chairs for us to lounge in. Leeloo loves the catio. She demands it be opened in the morning and spends most of the day out there. Mena also likes it, but not like Leeloo. She’ll wander out there every other day or so.

Finally, the main reason there hasn’t been a blog post in six weeks is the fact that I have a brand new website. After 20+ years of hand coding my website with raw HTML, I decided it was time for a change and hired Caro from GoCreate.me, a terrifyingly competent and efficient web developer. Caro is amazing, and you should hire her if you want a new website with all the bells and whistles. There are so many new things to learn!

There’s more to do on the website, but the bulk of the fit and finish is done. Also, if you want to send me a postal letter or donate books to my TARDIS Little Free Library, I have a new PO Box address:

Jennifer Brozek
P.O. Box 121
Bothell, WA 98041

So, what to you think? Do you like my new website?

Oh yeah. I’ve been nominated for two Scribe awards! One for Shadowrun: Auditions (YA/MG novel) and one for Valdemar: “Needs Must When Evil Bides” (Short story). I’m particularly pleased with the short story nomination. It’s been forever since one of my shorts has been nominated.