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From now until I decide I want to stop doing this, I will be giving out a monthly “Jennifer Award” for the best new-to-me thing I read that month. This can be fiction or non-fiction. It can be an essay/article, a short story, a novelette, a novella, or a novel. It doesn’t matter when it came out. It only matters that this is the first time I read it and I thought it was the best thing I read all month. Yes, it is completely subjective and biased towards what I like to read.
The winner will receive a shiny digital badge and a $5 gift card.
Forgive the lateness of this. I was away at Gen Con. The July winner of the Jennifer Award is “By Claw, By Hand, By Silent Speech” by Elsa Sjunneson-Henry & A. Merc Rustad. It is available in Uncanny Magazine, Issue 23 AKA the Dinosaur edition. I read through a couple of the stories because they came across my Twitter feed. I was struck by the intelligence and sensitivity of the story and the prose. As an author, I learned a couple of things I’m still processing. This is a damn good story.
2018
Jan: Godfall and Other Stories by Sandra M. Odell
Feb: “When We Fall” by Kameron Hurley
Mar: The Alastair Stone Chronicles by R.L. King
Apr: Deep Roots by Ruthanna Emrys
May: “The Soul of Horses” by Beth Cato
Jun: “Daddy’s Girl” by Jennifer R. Donohue
Jul: “By Claw, By Hand, By Silent Speech” by Elsa Sjunneson-Henry & A. Merc Rustad
For the last two weeks, I’ve been putzing around with my writing, my freelancing, and the reorganization of my home. Not that I haven’t gotten anything done—I have. I’ve mostly been doing everything except the writing. It’s been almost a vacation. Now, the time for a loose schedule is done.
Round 4 of edits for Sekrit Project Alex have dropped.
For the next two weeks I need to have a tight rein on things. Each day I will need to work on Fever County, Anthology 1, Anthology 2, and Sekrit Project Alex. Both anthologies are spinning up. This means a LOT of email. Project Alex should be in the last major edit of the project and I have two weeks to get it done. That’s at least a chapter a day of revision, edit, polish. I need to keep a momentum on Fever County. I’m deep into book one. I’ve scheduled 500 words a day. If I hit it, yay. If I don’t, that’s OK. As long as I get some good words in.
This all means that social media is going to fall by the wayside until the evening. I have extra daily things happening this week, including trying out a new writing/social group at my house, having a chat with a local friend/game shop about an official writer-in-residence thing, and other more mundane things involving the house.
This is why I have a daily schedule written down for two weeks out so I know everything I need to do in a given day as well as where I need to go and when.
Yesterday, I began writing the first book of a new teen horror series. The series is called Fever County, thus the first book has the temp title of FC01. I’ve got another title in mind, but I’ve discovered that, sometimes, in the writing of a novel, a new title will present itself. I don’t know if that will happen here or not. We’ll see.
I do know that the day flew by. It wasn’t the only thing I had to do. There’s a myriad of tasks I do each day / week. But when it comes to writing, new writing always comes first. I ended the day content and feeling productive. It was one of those days when I looked up from my last task and saw that it was 4:55pm. I was surprised. Some days drag on and on. Not yesterday.
Not today either.
The first words to a new novel always come slow for me. It’s like warming up an engine. I schedule no more than 500 words a day for the first week and I don’t worry at all if I make that or not. If it’s only 200 words—so be it. If it’s 700 or a thousand words—awesome. It’s not until the second week that I usually drop into a minimum of a thousand words a day or more. By the third week, I’m writing as fast as I can.
I’ve scheduled myself to finish the first draft of FC01 by Mar 31st. April will be for the short stories I know I have to do. The first part of May will be the first edit pass. Then I’ll hand the novel off to Alpha Readers. While that’s going on. I’ll fully outline FC02, write the 2 page synopsis, and generally begin the mental stewing process. Maybe I’ll figure out the 1 paragraph synopsis for FC03. June will be for fixing FC01 before handing it off to my agent for her thoughts. While she’s reading/critiquing it, I’m going to be writing FC02.
Of course, that’s all in the future. For now, I am content. I’m writing new words again. Not just editing. Not writing in another IP’s world. Fever County is all mine. I can’t express just how right everything feels.
Also, I have the best map ever. I commissioned Elizabeth (she’s fab!) to draw it for me. It is the perfect reference doc.
(P.S. Yes, Mom. I really am feeling better.)
This weekend was a whirlwind trip through Port Townsend and the surrounding area. The Husband decided we needed a weekend away and we had volunteered to clear parts of Port Townsend for a mega-field (Ingress game). One of the beauties of playing Ingress while vacationing is the fact that seeking out unique portals to hack and capture leads me and the Husband to some of the neatest places.
[Quick aside about Ingress. It’s an ARG—augmented reality game. Think of it as a cross between digital geocaching and capture the flag. All the portals are based on real world locations and you must be within 30 meters of it to hack or capture. Two portals can be linked. Three portals can be linked to make a field. No links can cross each other. Nothing can be linked if they are under a field. There’s a lot of layers to the game. It’s not for everyone, but for some people it’s the bee’s knees.]
This past weekend, we explored Port Townsend, Port Gamble, Fort Worden, Fort Flagler, and the surrounding areas. We followed the portals and the missions connected to them. We discovered and visited a marine, an orca museum, a couple of literal castles (Trollhaven! Castle Manresa!), crazy roadside attractions, a couple of farmer’s markets and a ton of parks. We walked so much. The Husband’s pedometer had him walking 27,000 steps on Saturday. I did less than that, but enough that my feet ached.
The highlight, of course, came from helping create a field so big that it covered both Seattle and Portland and stretched into Montana. We didn’t do much. Cleared a couple of links but the hour of sitting in the dark, waiting for the “Go!” command was awesome. Everyone was the enemy… the teenagers sneaking out of their house and looking at their phone, the dog walkers looking at their phones, even the coyote that randomly showed up. (Another cool thing about Port Townsend–the random deer and other wildlife around.) When you play Ingress, everyone with a cellphone is a potential enemy or ally. Do you know how many people stare at their phones all the time? 🙂
In the end, there was elation at being part of such a big endeavor. Over 50 agents and operators in all. Satisfied with a job well done, we took the long way home on Sunday to find more interesting places that we would never have found without playing Ingress. It is a great game for people who like to travel and explore. It’s even better when the op is successful.
May the skies be ever in your color. (In this case, Enlightened Green.)
I hadn’t realized that it’d been so long since an official blog post. Thank goodness for Bubble and Squeek. I’m sorry that today I’m writing about the death of a dear friend, a brother of my heart, Rich Taylor AKA UnkyRich. I wish it weren’t so. I just spent an hour looking for a picture* I took of Rich the day we met at one of Chris Senft’s parties. I can’t find it. I probably put it in a very safe place. I think it was about 1993. The earliest picture I found of Rich is 1995. He liked having his picture taken as much as I do.
I hate that I’m already automatically writing “liked” versus “likes.”
Rich died on September 17th. Today is his memorial. I couldn’t go. Sometime in the future, Cil and I will meet up for a drink and remember him together. For now, just the thought of that sentence closes my throat and brings tears to my eyes.
And yet, I can’t help thinking, “What did he have in his pockets when he died?” Because Rich talked about carrying strange little items with him so that, if he suddenly died, the coroner could see his things and wonder what the hell was up with him. It’s one of the reasons I carry skeleton keys in my purse.
Also, one of the reasons wanted to find that picture of Rich was the other thing he said he wanted to do: Get two pictures of someone about fifteen years apart and write dates on them—something very early for the older picture and something later for the younger picture with the question, “How did he do it? I must know!” on the back of it. Then leave those two pictures in a safety deposit box. Just to give people something to puzzle over.
Rich touched my life in many ways. He was a best friend and confidant. I missed him a lot in the years I’ve lived in Washington. I tried to see him and Cil as much as possible but it’s been less and less over the years and my more busy travel schedule. But when we’d talk… it was like no time had passed. I appreciated that.
I wish I had been able to play in one more of his games.
I guess there’s not much more to say. I loved him as a brother and I will miss him as a friend.
*Physical picture. This is from the 1990s when we didn’t have the internet like we do today. Get off my lawn!**
**Something else Rich used to say a lot. 🙂
Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I’ve got some goals and plans for 2015. With the amount of travel I have planned, I don’t think I’ll get the same word count I did as 2014. Despite the amount of stuff listed, it’s all doable. I don’t make unrealistic work goals for myself.
To Write
Scheduled to be Published
Convention Events
The Husband, Jeff, is doing a charity bike ride to fight multiple sclerosis. He’s pretty close to his funding goal. It would be nice for him to make it. Here’s the official blurb:
“I would like to thank those that donated in my first round notification, and I’m trying to keep these relatively un-spammy. But, if you have a moment to consider this, I and the MS community, will thank you.
So, I registered to be a part of a charity biking event this year ( Sep 5th – 7th), riding with Team Microsoft, and am raising funds to support the charity. Your donation can be matched by Microsoft as well if you also submit it as a matching donation.
Mile by mile and dollar by dollar, Bike MS is changing lives. That’s why I registered for Bike MS and why I’m asking you to support my fundraising efforts with a tax-deductible donation.
The National Multiple Sclerosis Society is dedicated to creating a world free of MS, but they can’t do it without our help. It’s faster and easier than ever to support this cause. Simply click the link below to visit my page and make a donation.
Your donation supports cutting-edge research and programs and services for everyone impacted by MS. Ending MS means no one will receive an MS diagnosis again. Every dollar helps. Every person makes a difference.
Please support me by making a donation! I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on progress to my goal.
Click here to visit my personal page.
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=13428368&pg=personal&fr_id=23318&et=FJPFY5fcTDRgFdJlu9UTDg&s_tafId=350823
Thank for thinking about it.”
REVIEW: My anthology, Coins of Chaos, was reviewed by The Nameless Zine. They liked it.
INTERVIEW: Sarna.net interviewed me about The Nellus Academy Incident.
ARTICLE: FlickFilosopher wrote an article about the TARDIS Little Free Library I have in front of my house.
COVER REVEAL #1: The Future Embodied anthology has revealed its final cover by the amazing Galen Dara. This has my story, “The Bathory Clinic Deal,” in it.
COVER REVEAL #2: Evil Girlfriend Media reveals the cover for my anthology, Bless Your Mechanical Heart. The cover art is by the wonderful Larry Dixon!
COVER REVEAL #3: Baen Books has revealed the cover of my anthology, Shattered Shields, co-edited with Bryan Thomas Schmidt, by the talented Todd Lockwood.
I absolutely win the cover art game this week. I am happy dancing all over the place.
TL;DR – I made a general complaint about a growing number of inappropriate (rape, abuse, racist) jokes at my LARP and asked the staff tell the playership as a whole that they needed to stop. Not only did a friend get banned for stating rape jokes were wrong, I was forced to deal with a person I have a Gentleman’s Agreement with. I am leaving my LARP for as long as my friend is banned.
—
As a genre (SFF) author and an RPG writer, I’m well aware of the problems of sexism, classism, and racism in my chosen profession. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the problems, seeing some of it in myself, and working to fix what I’ve seen. There’s an awful lot to do because the problems aren’t going away. But, people are making an effort.
So, what am I supposed to do when I see the same problems in my professional life creeping into my leisure time? More than just creeping in… growing and escalating? I guess I need to be the change I want to see. I can’t sit by and be silent. But, at the same time, I know that if I call attention to the growing problem, shit is going to hit the fan and I will be hurt in the process. That’s what rape culture and victim blaming is all about.
Sometimes it sucks to be an adult. Sometimes it really sucks to be right.
I’m part of a large weekly LARP (live action role playing) troupe. We have about 80-100 active players with an average of about 60-70 showing up to a single game. There’s no way to get that many people in an activity without having problems. We have ways of mitigating these problems. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they make things worse.
The Issue
Over a 4-5 week period, I saw a notable upswing in the number of rape jokes, racist jokes, and other inappropriate jokes. I also saw, and experienced, people crossing boundaries they shouldn’t be crossing. People saying “stop” to offensive lines of conversation and being ignored.
I decided that this couldn’t go unattended and made an official request to the LARP staff and PAs (player advocates) to remind players that the LARP was supposed to be a safe place, that we do have rules of conduct, and that they needed to be obeyed. In my request, I gave two specific, but nameless, examples.
Things pretty much went to hell after that.
The Good
Not everything that has happened is bad. Despite the mess that has gone on behind the scenes, the staff did make a good announcement that comfort levels needed to be met. That people needed to pay attention to comfort levels, to obey requests to stop or “fade to black” (official LARP “I don’t want to be here for this scene” speak).
I am grateful that the staff did bring this to the attention of the playership as a whole.
The Awkward But Good
One of my specified complaints was an accepted rape joke during noms (players nominating players for good role-play). The joke was “Shh… just let it happen.” as someone talked about how their character was foiled by another.
Two days after I made the complaint to the staff and PAs, one of my best friends and PA emailed me and admitted that he had made the “Shh… just let it happen” joke. He apologized and explained that it was a college thing/movie quote and he had had no idea that it was part of rape culture. He then explained that he had researched the phrase and found out what it actually meant. Read about that Microsoft executive who had used it in the middle of a demo and been fired for it. He said that now that he knew what it meant, he wouldn’t use it again and would be a lot more careful with his words.
This, my friends, is doing things right.
And yet, I had to fight back the urge to reassure him. To tell him it was okay because he didn’t know what he was doing. Instead, I thanked him for doing the research, for discovering what his words meant, and for promising not to speak them again.
The Bad
Here’s where things turn bad. After I made my complaint/request to the staff and PAs, they had a very long discussion in email without me. A lot of this has been told to me or I’ve read parts of the emails.
Apparently, there were several people who wanted to cry out “free speech” and others who said that rape jokes were a way of coping with trauma. To the first, fuck you. To the second, I understand this in a private setting. My complaint was about public offenses. Public black face jokes. Public rape jokes. Public jokes about child abuse. Public jokes that didn’t stop when asked. I wasn’t talking about how people deal with their traumas privately.
One PA, T, stated that rape jokes were wrong 100% of the time. She was talking in public. She wanted a definite stand from the staff and they wouldn’t give it, took offense, and looked at what she had to say in the worst possible way. The staff has banned T from game for stating that rape jokes are wrong and for not stopping with her point of view when people told her that her point of view wasn’t valid and should stop. Banned her from the game for “at least” 5 weeks and possibly as much as 3 months for her stance. (Not sure what they are going “revisit” at 5 weeks.)
T, completely taken aback, wanted to know what the heck was going on. I’ve read the emails from her side of things and I cannot see anything she’s said that was worth being banned from the game. Especially since she was backing me in all this.
My husband, as a PA, got involved and discovered that there was a weird way the emails came in that looked like T had told a staff member that she was a horrible person for having a coping mechanism that included rape jokes. When this was pointed out to T, she felt bad and sent in an apology in good faith, trying to explain the way the emails came in over her phone. Not only was her apology rejected, some of the other PAs and staff were abusively vindictive towards T for making the apology at all, stating that she wasn’t really sorry enough in their opinion, and she just didn’t understand how she had hurt people.
And I’m sitting here, still wrapping my head around the fact that T has been banned for making someone feel bad about making rape jokes.
The Worse
You’ll note above I commented that I gave two specific examples of the inappropriate jokes and behavior going on at game. A PA asked me for specifics on the second example which was: “In fact, I told one person to “Fade to Black” and to stop and finally that he was being plain creepy. He thanked me for my comment. It took another guy to pointedly say, “Dude, that wasn’t a compliment.” to get him to stop.”
As requested, I gave the specifics of that example—name and witness’s name. It seemed, for a while, that the staff was just going to focus on the two examples I gave in my email. Then, there was the agreement that a general statement would be made but the person who wouldn’t stop their offensive line of conversation also needed a private talk. I agreed but asked that my name be kept out of it.
After the head of staff (HST) agreed, another PA, who I will call JJ, challenged the request for my name to be kept from the person who wouldn’t listen to the “fade to black” request. “How can someone be expected to alter their behavior around a specific person in future if that specific person won’t reveal themselves to the offending party?”
Read: Why shouldn’t this guy know so he can be careful around you because you’re the one with the problem? (Victim blaming.)
Instead of: This guy needs to change his behavior—If he is told in or out of character to “Fade to black”, he needs to obey that. (Changing the perpetrator’s general behavior.)
Added Insult to Injury
Can it get worse? Oh, yes. JJ, the PA who challenged my request to be anonymous? I have a “Gentleman’s Agreement” with him. This is the LARP equivalent of a restraining order. “If players/Staff have irreparable Out of Character differences, they may call for other ST assistance to minimize contact between those players.”
I requested the Agreement with JJ for OOC reasons involving severe lack of trust issues based on past issues. This is the third time he’s broken this Agreement. First time, he tried to talk to me at game. I rebuffed him. The second time, he sent a member of staff over to ask me to drop the Agreement because he “missed role-playing” with me. He stood not 30 feet away to watch the interaction. I escalated the breach of the Gentleman’s Agreement, and the use of a person in authority to pressure me, to the whole staff.
This third time? He had no reason to get involved in the email discussion after the HST agreed to my request for anonymity. It was a deliberate manipulation to require me to interact with him. Do I trust that he hasn’t already told the person in question that I was the one who made the complaint? Not at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure that he has done so (or told someone close to him) “just to be fair.” See: Severe lack of trust.
Fortunately, another member of staff on the thread saw the interaction for what it was and will follow up with breach of the Gentleman’s Agreement. I hope something happens with it. I haven’t heard either way.
Additional note: T mentioned that after all this, after complaints had been made, and that she called JJ’s actions into question as well, JJ just “happened” to drop by her place of work (a retail store) and wanted to “see how she was holding up.” She noted to me that there were 4 other branches of her store between his house and her place of work. “8 years at that store and he never comes in once. Talk to his roommate [The HST] about his behavior last night and boom… There he was.”
[sarcasm]
Showing up at someone’s work and force them to interact with you on a professional level after questioning their actions to someone in confidence—that’s not creepy or intimidating or panic attack inducing at all.
[/sarcasm]
End Result
I made a generalize complaint that there was a growing number of inappropriate actions and jokes happening at LARP. I requested the staff to remind the gamers that this is not acceptable.
The staff made a good announcement. For that, I’m grateful.
The staff also banned T, a friend and PA, for her staunch believe that rape jokes in public are 100% inappropriate because of the way they trigger others. I am leaving the LARP for as long as T is banned. I think the staff overreacted and I am standing behind T.
The person I have a Gentleman’s Agreement with forced an unnecessary interaction and, in essence, victim blamed me for taking offense when someone wouldn’t stop an inappropriate and offensive line of conversation when asked.
Do I feel safe at the LARP? No. I don’t. I feel like I did the right thing and still got punished for it. Exactly as I expected I would. I just didn’t expect to have so many other people hurt in the process. The collateral damage on the way this whole thing has been handled has been extensive and disturbing. I hurt because of what’s happened.
Sometimes doing the right thing really sucks. And people wonder why women stay silent when they are harassed, assaulted, or abused.
Those of you who have read me for any length of time know I’m a busy woman. I write, edit, game design, and publish. There’s not a lot more I can do. Except when opportunities present themselves in the form of Kickstarters. I really do believe in my “Share the Love” philosophy. If I can help you, within reason, I will.
So beyond supporting a number kickstarters with my money, I’m currently working with several kickstarters to help back them with my name and / or work. It may not be much but it is something I can give.
Cthulhu Playing Cards – For those who love Lovecraft and the crazy universe he created and then invited others to play in, Cthulhu playing cards are awesome. They have wonderful artwork and the add-ons are very cool. I’m helping out by editing the chapbook that is one of the add-ons. It will have stories by Kenneth Hite and Cody Goodfellow. The cover is to die for already.
Beyond the Sun anthology – This is a science-fiction anthology edited by Bryan Thomas Schmidt. I really believe we need more sci-fi anthologies out there. This one is featuring Robert Silverberg, Nancy Kress, and Mike Resnick. I’m helping out by offering a short story critique at the $100 or “Junior Officer” (#2) level. This critique will include a Skype call or an in person discussion about your story.
One-Shot RPG – One Shot RPG is designed to be played with two people and I thought that was wonderful. I love the idea of playing this what-if game with my husband. When I was approached by the creator to submit a story for the stretch goal anthology, I had to say yes. I could see a One Shot story in my Mowry universe without thinking twice.
I think crowd-sourcing is an excellent way to get smaller projects off the ground and I think a lot of them are worth supporting with more than money. It’s why I do it.
Jennifer Brozek is a multi-talented, award-winning author, editor, and media tie-in writer. She is the author of Never Let Me Sleep and The Last Days of Salton Academy, both of which were nominated for the Bram Stoker Award. Her YA tie-in novels, BattleTech: The Nellus Academy Incident and Shadowrun: Auditions, have both won Scribe Awards. Her editing work has earned her nominations for the British Fantasy Award, the Bram Stoker Award, and multiple Hugo Awards. She won the Australian Shadows Award for the Grants Pass anthology, co-edited with Amanda Pillar. Jennifer’s short form work has appeared in Apex Publications, Uncanny Magazine, Daily Science Fiction, and in anthologies set in the worlds of Valdemar, Shadowrun, V-Wars, Masters of Orion, Well World, and Predator.
Jennifer has been a full-time freelance author and editor for over seventeen years, and she has never been happier. She keeps a tight schedule on her writing and editing projects and somehow manages to find time to teach writing classes and volunteer for several professional writing organizations such as SFWA, HWA, and IAMTW. She shares her husband, Jeff, with several cats and often uses him as a sounding board for her story ideas. Visit Jennifer’s worlds at jenniferbrozek.com or her social media accounts on LinkTree.
